The disgusting “dog story” I promised
Let me start this story with a little back story…
The night before we left on the first leg of our journey, we met some friends for dinner. It was a fun place, the kids were running amock, we were all shooting the shit and the topic turned to travel. My friend is not a huge fan of long drives but as her children are getting older, they are getting much easier. I can relate 100%!
Years ago, when her youngest was a baby, traveling was a nightmare. Apparently the baby would wake screaming when she was in her car seat. They proceeded to tell us this one story about a trip that should’ve taken 5 hours but took 8. Basically it boils down to a cranky baby, a toddler, and a dog with diarrhea. Not just any diarrhea according to their very graphic recount of the happenings! It was “water- sprinkler” diarrhea. You know… the kind where it is litterally shooting from the dogs ass as it spins around in the back of your SUV!
Needless to say, I’m dying laughing as they tell this story and due to my ridiculously weak stomach, I might have been gagging a bit too. I swore that I would’ve had to burn the vehicle down right there because there was absolutely no freaking way I would’ve been able to get it somewhere and clean it up. We finish up dinner, and a game of corn hole, and head out. Fun times with friends.
Can you guess where this story is going?
Morning comes and David and I load up the camper, truck, and Jeep. David pulls the camper with the truck and has the kids while I drive with the dogs in the Jeep. It’s like a 6 hour drive… no big deal, we’ve done this dozens of times with the dogs.
We stop about 2.5 hours or so into our trip at Buccees to get gas, snacks, and to use the extremely well kept facilities. I take Maverick to the grass area where he takes care of his business. He didn’t hold back and made a nice #2 for me to pick up with my fancy little pink poop bags. YAY! Then I go to get Smokey, who peed on everything he could until he was simply dry peeing. As I’m walking him around, I’m thinking a few things. He’s not acting like he has to poo, at least Maverick did because I have less trust in his ability to hold it, and YAY, I don’t have to pick up a big pile of steamy Smokey shit. Let’s go buddy, get back in the Jeep.
An hour later Smokey starts to act anxious in the back seat which I assume is because Maverick is sprawled out in the middle of the large bed I had laid out for them. I quickly shoo Maverick over and tell Smokey to lay back down. Thirty minutes or so passes and Smokey gets up and starts moving around again like he is not comfortable. He jumps the console and is now in the front passengers seat acting crazy. I call David who is behind me to tell him that I am going to stop and will catch up with him. Then, it hits me. “POOP! I smell poop” I frantically tell David as I begin to exit the highway.
Y’all, my husband says “bye”, hangs up, and keeps driving! Seriously David? Did I not just say last night how I would burn the vehicle to the ground before I will clean up shit in it?
I don’t see any poop at this time, but now Smokey is trying like hell to get onto the floorboard (which is way to small for him) and squating. He is squatting and whining and I am off the freeway and onto the service road. I throw it into reverse and back up to a place where we are out of the way of any traffic and I am out. I run around the Jeep to the passengers side, open the door and slap a leash on Smokey like Superman fast. There was a turd on the seat! I shut the door because I don’t want Maverick getting out and we run to the grass where Smokey lets out a steady stream of doggy diarrhea.
Maverick is still in the Jeep jumping around wanting out while I’m yelling at him to be still! “Please don’t spread the shit, be still.”
Smokey finishes up and I tie him off to the Jeep and go get Maverick to do the same. Maverick did have a little poop on his head, and Smokey on his backside. I open all the doors and pray that I have napkins in the console. SCORE, I have a handful. I start by quickly pouring a little water on my dogs and cleaning the poop off their fur.
I head to the inside of the Jeep. There is poop in the Jeep. For real though… this could’ve been SO much worse. There was a turd on the bed in the back, which thank goodness was hard and shook right off leaving no signs that it had been there. Now the turd in the front seat was not so easy to get cleaned since it had gotten smashed into the leather seat. Lucky for me, there was a bottle of cleaner that I last minute grabbed off the counter in our house and threw under the seat, because if it wasn’t for that and the many disposable masks I found in seat pockets I might have had to burn the Jeep!
Was it karma? Did I laugh too hard at my friend’s misfortune? I am sure she laughed her ass off when she got the pic I sent her!
Lesson learned! Always take more time at gas station when walking the dog, it’s worth it! Always carry extra cleaning supplies when traveling with dogs! Ya know, I would say to send dogs with husband and take kids instead, but nope… I just can’t advise that! LOL
If you have a weak stomach, I suggest you stop scrolling here…
XOXO,
Jera
